


Don't Tell Me 'Cause it hurts

by GrimdarkMassacre



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Blood, Brownman, Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, Mad King, Mute Ryan, Raywood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 00:28:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6448171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrimdarkMassacre/pseuds/GrimdarkMassacre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray and Ryan join the Fake AH crew. The others whine about Ryan being mute. And here's the story of how it happened, and how Ray fell for him in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Tell Me 'Cause it hurts

**Author's Note:**

> Song used is Don't Speak, by No doubt
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ph3Qg9D-gM

“Ryan, can I atleast get like a hum or something that you're there”  
“...”  
“K, good to know absolutely nothing. Thanks a lot you mute bitch.”  
“Call my bitch a bitch again and I’ll kick your ass Geoff.” Ray murmurs through the com.  
“I just wanna know he's still with us.”  
“Ah yes, you need to check repeatedly because people just tend to ascend out of this plane of existence mid-way through the day”  
“...”  
“Ryan said he thinks he should do that, It sounds more fun.”  
“Ryan didn’t say anything!” Gavin chimes in. Behind him Michael detonates his C4 and their rival crews warehouse goes up in flames and rains down in ashes.  
“Ryan says everything.” Ray states.  
“...”  
“Then what’s he saying now?” Jack chided sarcastically.  
“He didn’t say anything. That was just silence.” Ray shoots back as he stumbles down the hill towards the dirt road. Jack has already taken driver's seat in the car, Michael and Gavin sliding into the back. Geoff opens the passenger door but doesn't get in yet.  
“I have a strong feeling you’ll turn the offer down,” He says taking the com out of his ear, “But it's polite to ask if you’re gonna come back to the penthouse and celebrate with us?”  
“Nah,” Ray shrugs, “Me and Rye got other shit to do.”  
“Like each other.” Michael mumbles. Gavin giggles. Ryan takes the com out f his ear and drops it into the car window with jack. Ray tosses his in from where he stands with the motorcycle.  
“Kobe!” He yells when it makes it in. Jack shakes her head with a fond smile as she pulls the car away.  
“I bet Ryan fucked with someone and they cut his tongue out.” Gavin says offhand. Him and Michael had talked about this when Ryan first came along with ray.  
“Or he has seen something awful and has decided to stop talking because that does happen.” Jack says back.  
Geoff chuckles, “We’ll find out eventually, and if we don’t we can blame it on his tongue being gone, k gavvers. Let’s just get home and drink or something.” Jack rolls her eyes and speeds up. 

Back at the now missing warehouse Ryan gets on the motorcycle. He starts it up as Ray climbs on back and hugs him from behind. He presses a little kiss on the back of Rye’ neck before they take off down the dirt road. Eventually they hit the pavement and the city lights pollute the sky. Neon signs welcome them home as they rush by breaking as many traffic laws as they could. 

The sun rises over the Los Santos skyline and Ryan pulls into his and Ray’s garage. They ride the elevator up hands pressed behind and between each other ask they kiss, only pulling away when they doors open on their floor. They stumble into their apartment and drop onto the couch pulled close together. Ray kisses Ryan up his neck and slides over to his mouth. And as the sun fully rises on all the buildings in Los Santos and illuminates the dark streets and open windows, Ray falls asleep pulling Ryan down with him.

___________________

7 years prior

Ray’s dropped his wallet. Or its been stolen… and this is New York, so no matter what happened it’s never gonna be in his possession again. 

Well, it wasn’t gonna be until this dad looking guy with pretty nice biceps catches up to him. And says he’s been trying to catch up after the kid dropped it. Ray thanks him as any civilized person should, but he’s pretty sure he needs to go home and cancel all his cards right now. They guy calls himself Ryan, and Ray gives him his name, but makes up an excuse to leave. 

As he leaves he can feel the older's eyes staring at him, and he looks back, because if this fucker wants a staring contest he’s gonna get one. It only takes a couple seconds of awkward stares and a set of raised eyebrows for Hot Dad Guy to look at the sidewalk. Ray cherishes in his little victory as he walks home. 

He opens his wallet. Inside is all his money, his ID, and his debit and credit cards. And a piece of paper. With Ryan’s name on it and a phone number. Oh, so that’s why he was staring. 

\------------------------

Ryan can’t believe himself. He stole the kids wallet to put his number in it. He’s gonna fucking kill himself. Okay, not really. That was a little harsh… a lot harsh. But it was still a dumb move on his part. 

It’s two in the morning and all he can think about is Ray. He finally met him and the kid shoved him away. No he just had to go home, he probably has a lot on his plate right now. But Ryan knows he doesn’t.  
It’s all fucked and he knows it. He really shouldn’t be this invested but he is. The moment he saw Ray he began to follow him. Every morning on his way to work Ray buys an energy drink from the corner store near his house, he likes Red Bull mostly but he does have other drinks he gets sometimes. 

After that he goes to the flower store two blocks down and buys two roses. One he keeps for himself and the other he uses when he passes through the cemetery. The grave he leaves it on reads Joel Heyman, after a bit of research he found that Joel had committed suicide and Ray had been one of his closest friends. 

Ray then finishes cutting through the cemetery and goes to his job at gamestop. He often works all day, even adding the late shift to his normal schedule. Ryan doesn't believe it’s for the money. He thinks Ray needs a distraction.

Ray likes gaming. He has most of every achievement in every game he owns. (Ryan found him on Xbox…) He eats a lot of junk food, but he’s scrawny as hell. Even though he looks harmless he could easily put someone through the floor. (Ryan saw him beat up a mugger one night) He dislikes a lot of social interaction, he still goes out with a few people he knows, but he’d easily trade it for a night in, and he has time and time again. And for some reason Ray draws Ryan around. He tries to go back to being a mercenary but really he’d rather just follow Ray. 

So here he is at two in the morning lying on his couch waiting for Ray to throw his number out and move like seven states away because some guy stole his wallet to put his number in it. And really he knows he shouldn’t be stalking the guy, but… there really is no excuse for stalking… 

So that’s it then, he probably creeped Ray the fuck out. 

\------------------------

So Ryan has a crush on him after seeing him once apparently. Welp that’s weird. But of course in Ray’s undying knowledge he decides to text this guy at around three in the morning... While high off his ass.

Honestly he was just tired and lonely. Ever since Joel died everything had gotten very quiet and well… still. Like there was really nothing worth doing. Ray didn’t personally like social interactions too much. He still did them but lately they’ve been a lot more difficult. Joel he’d been friends with almost forever. It was around middle school when they met and well Ray just hit it off with him. Joel made all the social anxiety and such just seem easier to handle. 

He did have a crush on Joel and when he confessed that, Joel didn’t like him back. They still stayed friends though. When they grew up they moved into an apartment together. Almost a month later Joel was diagnosed with bronchial cancer from his habits of chain smoking on and off. He suffered shortly before he bought a gun and put it under his jaw and aimed diagonally. Ray still had the gun. He kept it in a box in his closet.

But anyway back to the Hot Dad Guy crushing on him. Ray texts him, almost three am. He asks if it's the same guy who gave back his wallet, he doesn’t really know what else to say. His mind obviously isn't clear after hot-boxing. Ray’s pretty sure Ryan doesn’t know what to say either.

‘Yeah thats me i thought you looked nice and didn't really know what else to do.’  
Ray sends him the smilie emoji with: ‘you think i look nice?’  
‘Absolutely!”  
Ray sends a winking emoji. Why, he doesn’t really know, but this feels like he’s avoiding all his parents stranger type life advice.  
‘How do you keep sending the little faces?’  
So Ray tries to tell him over text. He ends up calling him though because he’s too tired to keep typing. Ryan has a really deep pretty voice. And he falls asleep before he can hang up.

\----------------------------------

Four months later and Ray is pressed into Ryan’s bed being fucked to hell.

nine months later Ray finds out about his ‘line of work’.

A year later and he’s moving in with Ryan.

Three years in and Ryan picks up alcohol for the first time. He doesn’t put it down.

\-----------------------------------

It starts slow. Maybe a beer here or there. Then it comes to a few a day. Then he tries other things. But mostly he keeps an arrangement of vodka, whiskey, wine, and beer in the house. Then the yelling starts. And when Ray doesn’t fight back the bruises started appearing under his shirt or along his thighs. 

Nearly 2 years later he gets sick of it. He hates loud noise from Ryan’s constant yelling. He hates being able to feel pain. He hates when Ryan is drunk. He hates when he’s sober. He hates when he says he still loves him. He hates that he still does love him. 

One night Ryan doesn’t come home. Ray chalks it up to being a mercenary. Then it starts happening more often. And Ray slowly builds up the courage to go out and find him… and risk getting hit again probably. Out of fear he takes Joel’s gun. He doesn’t know if it’s fear of Ryan or his job.

But he finds Ryan at a bar. With two girls attached to his hip. And then he’s leaving with them. Ray follows. He watches them in a shitty motel room from the other side of a window. He watches them fall asleep. And then the lock is being picked, and the door falls open easily. 

And Ryan wakes up to something Ray hates. He wakes up to loud noises and blood soaking into sheets. He wakes up to Rays shadow holding a gun. Then he’s sleeping again when Ray hits him. 

\--------------------------------

Ray buries the bodies a few hours outside of New York. And for some stupid fucking reason he starts driving back. Should’a just packed my shit. He thinks over and over. Because it’s true. He should just pack up and leave Ryan once and for all. But he can't. It’s not anything physical that stops him. No. It’s spite. Because someone bested him. 

He turns on the radio as he drives.

/You and me  
We used to be together  
Everyday together always  
I really feel  
That I'm losing my best friend  
I can't believe  
This could be the end  
It looks as though you're letting go  
And if it's real  
Well I don't want to know/

\--------------------------

He turns off the car and heads for the elevator humming softly. When he makes it to his apartment Ryan’s already downed a few beers. And then he’s being yelled at for disrupting Ryan’s life. For causing such a problem. And Ryan shoves him to the floor. And he kicks Ray. He berates him for being a peice of shit. And then he’s leaning down and punching Ray. Trying to hold him still. 

Ray cry’s for him to stop. He keeps moving away under Ryan’s grasp. And finally he rolls away. He runs the first direction he sees and ends up in the kitchen. As Ryan comes up behind him Ray draws up his gun. He turns and pulls the trigger.  
Ryan doesn’t stop though. There's no moment where he stops and holds his wound like in the movies. There no contemplating on his part. He just goes for Ray. 

Ray can’t bring himself to pull the trigger again. And he moves as Ryan tries to tackle him. They both go down and Ray grabs the first thing he can. Which happens to be a drawer. He rips it off the track in the cabinet and throws it at Ryan, utensils skittering across the floor. And Ray draws his leg back and kicks Ryan in the face. He picks up a knife and kneels on the older's chest. 

He’s not gonna take shit from Ryan anymore. And thank god the older’s drunk enough to not feel this to a full extent.

/Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts/

And he forces the blade in Ryan’s mouth and cuts as hard as he can across it. Ryan forces Ray off. He rips the knife away. His mouth flows with crimson and it pools on the floor and down his shirt. His vision begins to go dark, so he grabs Ray and pushes the knife into his side. Then the excessive alcohol and bleeding take him under.

\---------------------

/Our memories  
Well, they can be inviting  
But some are altogether  
Mighty frightening  
As we die, both you and I  
With my head in my hands  
I sit and cry/

Ray manages to call an ambulance. He wakes up in the hospital room alone. The nurse call button sits to his left so he clicks it in. A lady with soft blond hair walks in. He asks to see Ryan.

He can’t. Ryan’s in intensive care after surgery. Then she leaves. More people come and go. He’s chock full of drugs and healing from a knife wound and other minor wounds. 

Ryan tries to ask for Ray. He finds it difficult to speak. He can’t create syllables as easily and words don’t sound right, so he gives up. 

After a week he’s drugged into sleeping and moved out of the intensive care unit and into just the normal hospital area. When he wakes up he finds Ray in a chair next to him, head leaning on Ryan’s bed crying softly.  
Ryan runs his hand through Ray's hair and tries to apologize. After all this is all his fault.

But Ray shushes him and holds his hand. 

/Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts/

Ryan falls back asleep staring at him.

\-------------------------

Ryan still has difficulty talking. He just prefers not to. Ray had done enough damage to his tongue that it needed to be taken out. He swears he’ll never drink again, and buys Ray a better gun to keep on him.  
Ray swears he’ll put a bullet through his head if it happens again. Ryan believes him. 

/It's all ending  
I gotta stop pretending who we are...  
You and me I can see us dying...are we?/

They leave New York. Ryan erases them from the data bank. He erases their names and past lives and they run together. Ray joins him in his work as Brownman, and they begin to pick up steam as they travel cross country for the next year.

/Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts  
Don't tell me cause it hurts!  
I know what you're saying  
So please stop explaining/

They had driven to Los Santos, California. They meet Jack first. She found Ray about to get mugged. Ray had led them into an alley on purpose. Jack was surprised by his knife skills and asked him to meet the crew. Ray wouldn’t do it unless he brought the Mad King with him. They exchanged numbers there and within a few days Geoff wanted to meet them.

Ray did all the talking but he’d look to Ryan and nod or say something like they were actually having a conversation. It was weird at first, but then they all got used to it. Ryan was actually very nice and helpful around the penthouse and a quick shot on jobs. Ray fit in with the lads and preferred long range combat.

Ryan bought him a pink sniper when they first left New York and the kid never put it down. They were both willing to do the jobs that Geoff himself didn’t want to or couldn’t actually. They did drug runs in and out of the country which turned a profit that Geoff had been trying to set up for years. 

Finally Ray and Ryan decided they would stay. They bought their own apartment in town. Everything seemed to fall together. Ryan held him every night and he never looked back, neither did Ray.

/Don't speak,  
don't speak,  
don't speak,  
oh I know what you're thinking  
And I don't need your reasons  
I know you're good,  
I know you're good,  
I know you're real good  
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la  
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'  
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush  
don't tell me cause it hurts  
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'  
Hush, hush don't tell me cause it hurts/


End file.
